The society we live in has a fixed idea on how men and women are expected to be.
With the conditioning being so strong, I often wonder how we, as a society, will ever break the cycle. How can we change something that is purposely set from the way we’re conditioned to act, speak, dress, and behave.
In a world where we begin to condition our young boys to be constant winners, logical, and strong, we condition our girls to be the opposite. We teach them to be accommodating, polite, quiet, emotional, and likeable. And, just like that, sexism kicks in.
Everything from personality traits, how domesticated chores are carried out, who does what occupation, to what colour we wear, all of this combined contributes to gender stereotypes. It has imposed limits on what each gender can, and should, do.
Think about it. When the following occupations are mentioned, what gender comes to mind? Pilot, police officer, CEO, electrician, and sports coach? Male, right?
SYSTEMIC SEXISM
Sexism is systemic, so breaking a system we are born into is not easy. From childhood, we typically see mothers take care of the children, and fathers out making the money. If this is the choice both partners made together, then great, but more often than not, it would be the woman making sacrifices on her dreams, aspirations, and desires to become the willing, honourable, and respected homemaker.
Then, post childhood, we see sexism in the external world. Whether we’re in institutions, such as school or the workplace, reviewing government policies, watching TV, or in relationships, we see our home environment reflected in society.
We witness men and women technically doing the same thing, but how this is perceived and accepted seems to be worlds apart. Take changing a nappy as an example, men are perceived as real heroes for simply changing their own child’s nappy, yet women are expected to just do this. Another example is in children’s books and programmes; we’re shown Bob the Builder can fix anything, and Cinderella is in need of a man to be rescued. If children were encouraged to experiment with how they wish to express themselves from an early age, we could see more men broadening their options when it comes to roles and responsibilities.
All this desired change would be a big shift for our men too. Maybe if there wasn’t so much pressure on a man to become the strong man who provides for his family, we could normalise a culture where men are able to share their hopes and desires more openly, rather than having to internalise it all.
Has it ever occurred to you why men’s suicide is the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45? I do. We tell boys “boys don’t cry” and say “man up” to our men, and then wonder why, more often than not, men aren’t great at communication. With a culture built for men not to ask for help, we then wonder why it is so difficult for them to feel vulnerable.
If we build a culture that was made fair for both sexes, men wouldn’t have to carry all the financial burden and then self-treat depression with alcohol and other substances. This would result in men being more supportive of strong women, and women being more supportive of sensitive men.
Once both sexes begin to understand, normalise, and promote equality for one another, we can begin to live in a more equitable and safer world.
*All views expressed on this site are my own and do not represent the opinions of any entity which I have been, am now, or will be affiliated.